It is what it is. Forgive yourself.

I have spent so much of my life choosing to suffer. I woke up each morning and made the conscious decision to be in pain and to let that pain consume me. I wouldn’t leave my apartment. I wouldn’t check my messages. I wouldn’t talk to family or friends. I let years of emotional buildup take over my life — take over my right to choose. I now refuse to wake up in the morning and choose pain. I wake up and choose acceptance. I choose forgiveness. I step out into the world with an armor of contentment.

It is what it is.

This body I am in will endure pain and suffering. That does not mean that I have to identify with that pain and suffering. There is no doubt that it hurts. But by choosing acceptance, contentment, I lessen that pain and take away the limits that it once imposed. I free myself.

It is what it is.

I read about separating yourself from your body to become a “watching mind.” You observe what pain your body is experiencing along with the emotional reaction it automatically brings, but you access your consciousness in the process. You are simply watching the drama of humanity unfold within you. You do not have to be the drama though. You are able to choose to be the audience, even when your body is the star of the show. By observing, you are able to intervene. You are able to control the energy that the body you inhabit puts into the world. You give yourself the choice between negativity and positivity, which blind emotion takes away from you. You are not realizing you can edit the script…. you are realizing that in fact there is no script at all. Humanity is an improv show and it’s your turn to say yes, and…

it is what it is.

The suffering and trauma my body endured trained my mind into thinking that this world we live in is evil. I believed I had to spend my days in a defensive state of being, always ready to attack if need be. It was a harmful way to live, not only for the people around me but for the soul inside my body. I was living at such a low frequency that feelings such as love, joy, and contentment seemed unattainable. I didn’t believe it existed, and therefore it didn’t. It wasn’t until I woke up to the reality that this human life is just a show that I was finally able to see how I can reach those feelings that come from enlightenment. The life my physical body lives is not the same life my soul lives. Even if my body was bruised, my soul didn’t have to be. I could raise my vibrations through meditation, or by reading, or by simply learning to see inside myself.

It is what it is.

I had to stop hoping. Waiting and hoping for happiness to arrive was not going to make it come any quicker. In fact, it kept it at bay even longer than it had to be. Once you become hopeless, you are really able to experience the present. Until then, you are constantly trapped in the thought of what is coming next. Who cares? You are here right now. Experience it. This moment is slipping away from you. Breathe it all in, look around you, observe the awakening of your senses. I felt as if in that first moment of realization, I was being born. I wasn’t truly alive until that moment, or not conscious at least. It felt as if every atom of pain I had been lugging around disappeared. It was because I was no longer carrying it. I was simply watching. I knew the pain had happened, that it existed, but it didn’t control me.

It is what it is.